Video Recap: Drug Addiction and Relationships
Hello, my name is Liz and I am a Certified Recovery Coach. I have been leading small groups in various topics in recovery for 25 years. My specialty is helping people learn relational boundaries. I have lead small groups eleven different times on the subject of boundaries.
Developing healthy boundaries is vital to maintain sobriety. This is because once we no longer use alcohol or drugs, we have to learn a new way of dealing with our emotions. Understanding the art of setting boundaries is a crucial part of recovery. As crucial as they are, they are also unbelievably difficult to master. The good news is boundaries can be learned. The purpose of boundaries is to negotiate relationships in such a way that we let the good in and keep the bad out. This is a workshop of self-discovery. Relational boundaries promotes emotional sobriety. Since my strongest emotions gets triggered by my closest relationships, boundaries help me maintain peace, love and freedom. When I am free of anger and resentments, I am free to love from pure motives. When my yes is yes, and my no is no, I have a sense of inner peace.
We also talk about our own personality types. Some of us are compliant and say yes, when me mean no. Some of us are avoidant, by default we miss opportunities to let good things come in, and rid ourselves of bad things. And then some of us are controlling, and aggressive and we act like bullies. We disrespect the property of others to get what we think we need. By taking ownership of our personality, we begin to learn to change the things we can, which is only ourselves. We do this by learning about the laws of boundaries, the myths of boundaries and how and why we resist setting boundaries. I talk a lot about ownership, what is on my property, what belongs to me, what am I responsible for. Boundaries define who I am, it’s me. They tell me what belongs to me and what I alone am responsible for. I also learn the limits of my power, I only have power over what belongs to me.
I start the workshop by helping each person catch a vision for themselves. Once we are clear about what is on my property, we learn how to take care of it. When we start caring for our own property, we stop blaming and playing victim.